it always seems to be that i know just what to say until i sit at the computer. maybe it's a pen i miss. maybe it is a changing season in my life that has me silent. maybe it is the time i spend away from my writing mind. i think sometimes i'm afraid that i don't know how anymore. not the writing part, but the allowing my mind to relax into the place it used to go.

i am trying to learn about my new family. the one i adopt when i marry chris. i am trying not to take offence. i am trying to understand the differences. i am trying to figure out how certain things can exist and him not see them and other things can not exist and him talk as if they are there while i look around frantically trying to see what he sees. something is not aligning. i hope that time will clear some of that up..